I'm okay

"How are you doing?"
I got that question multiple times today. As if suddenly, everyone who had made such an effort to completely ignore my existence finally cared. How am I doing?
I'm okay.
I'm okay with the fact that this guy took advantage of my forgiveness and misinterpreted it as an "okay" to date another girl.
Another girl who i considered my friend, who I defended when others trashed her.
A girl who I asked for advice after she went through the same struggles as I did.
A girl I never wanted to hate; A girl I don't want to hate.

As for you, ex boyfriend of two years, I hope you realize that because you failed to respect me and ignored my feelings, any chance of us ever...ever being friends has now withered away completely.
How could I have loved someone who would do this to me...? I am embarrassed.
Embarrassed that I fell so hard for someone I never expected to hurt me so much.
I never wanted to hate him.


I want to believe that there is someone out there for everyone, maybe even me.
But I can't see myself ever being that vulnerable again.
I can't see myself allowing someone else to break my heart again.
I can't see myself being loved again.

So, How am I doing?
Betrayed, Humiliated, Shocked...
And a very familiar feeling of abandonment.

Or simply...
"I am okay"

meep